I've been overweight my entire life. And my entire life my weight has been the only problem between my Mother and I. Weight is a big deal this day and age. The media says all women should be a size 2 with the perfect everything ; skin, hair, facial features, boobs, etc. Now me? I'm the complete opposite. If your happy with who you are that's wonderful! Who cares if your a size 2 or size 22!? Who cares if your an A cup or a C cup!? Unfortunately my Mother doesn't see it that way. I'm 20 years old, i weigh 290 lbs, A size 26 pants, and a 4x shirt. I'm a happy go lucky person when I'm not being put down every two seconds! I've been doing Weight Watchers since the last Wednesday of December 2009. Up until now I've lost 1 lb. I lost 5 lbs but i gained 4 back. Honestly I feel this is because I'm doing this for everyone else. Not for me. Would I like to loose weight? Well DUH! But right now I'm not doing it for me. I'm doing it for my Mother.
Tonight I was talking with my Mother and I flat out asked her, "You don't have faith in my do you?" She looked at me and shook her head "no". I wanted to scream, "THEN WHY THE FUCK AN I GOING THROUGH THIS HELL FOR YOU!?!?!? " I'm happy with who I am and my girlfriend is happy with who i am!!! My girlfriend, she always seems to be there when I need to talk or vent! And she likes chubby, jiggly, size 26 pants me!!! She likes BBWs! Why should i risk getting down to 125 like everyone thinks i should and risk my girlfriend thinking I'm not as attractive thin as i am big!?
Tonight I was talking with my Mother and I flat out asked her, "You don't have faith in my do you?" She looked at me and shook her head "no". I wanted to scream, "THEN WHY THE FUCK AN I GOING THROUGH THIS HELL FOR YOU!?!?!? " I'm happy with who I am and my girlfriend is happy with who i am!!! My girlfriend, she always seems to be there when I need to talk or vent! And she likes chubby, jiggly, size 26 pants me!!! She likes BBWs! Why should i risk getting down to 125 like everyone thinks i should and risk my girlfriend thinking I'm not as attractive thin as i am big!?
BABE! I will love you no matter what... I want you to be happy with yourself.
ReplyDeleteI'll always be here for you, I hope you know that.
Agreed Chelle! If you're going to make ANY change that affects your life, it should be for YOU! NO ONE ELSE! Mara loves you. Period. End of story. So whatever you want to do, in the end, should be for you. I love you, by the way. You're just too awesome to NOT love...it's like...lol impossible!! *clicks follow blog button*
ReplyDeletehey Chelle..
ReplyDeletefollowed ur link from Lush... and was happy to hear a big girl who is not too messed up to think straight..
my mother told me.. every one has a match out there... I believe there are more then one for each of us.. so if the people around you seem stuck at your outer layers and do not make it in.. look for other ones..
anyway.. welcome to lush.. have fun and maybe we will chat more one day ..
--Zak (hanginn on Lush)